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August 10 BANNED FROM ALLTEL EVERYWHERE FOREVER!I'm posting this for my human: As you know from the last blog, I dropped my phone into the raging flood waters of our laundry room and it died a tragic death. This is the story of the aftermath and recovery from that disaster and the Katrina-like situation that ensued. The day after the phone passed away, I took it in to Alltel and had them file an insurance claim, paid the $50.00 deductible and happily walked out with a new phone. This is how the world should work. The next day, the phone didn't hold it's charge even though it was charged overnight, so I went back to Alltel and, thinking that the battery might be defective, swapped it out for a new one. After four more days of charging, the phone was still running out of battery after just a few hours whether I was using it or not, turned on or not. I even used two different battery chargers indoors and my car charger while I was driving, same result. So logically I thought, It must not be the batteries, it must be the phone. So after leaving the phone on the charger all night long, I went off to Alltel this morning to get a new phone. After all, I had a new warranty guaranteed with the new phone, so I should be able to switch the phone right out, right? OK. I go into the store and a young man waits on me. I tell him I was in there earlier in the week and switched out the battery because it hadn't stayed charge. In fact, he had been the young man who waited on me for that visit. The lady at the other end of the counter was the one who had helped me get the new phone from the insurance company to begin with that week. So I said, "I need to switch out the phone for one that works." He answered, "I can't do that." "Why not? I asked. "Because I just checked your phone and it's working." I was puzzled at this answer, "Yes, I just took it off the charger. But it won't hold that charge for 12 hours." "Well, it's working now. I just made calls and called it and it's working fine." I think the boy was stuck on auto. I explained slowly, "It's not the calls that don't work, it's the charge." "Well, ma'am, I can't tell that unless you leave the phone." "But I need my phone. I have calls to make." "I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave it here." I shook my head. "Let me talk to your manager." So the young man went into the back and disappeared. The older man sitting next to him started giving me the old hairy eyeball. That one looks like trouble, his eyes said. The manager came out. He was not too tall with a white shirt and tie, slacks and a short haircut. Rather nondescript, actually. His name was Phil. "What is the matter, ma'am?" These Texas boys, so polite. "My phone isn't working right and I need to exchange it for one that works." He took the phone into his expert hands. "This phone is making and receiving calls." Good Lord. "Yes," I answered as patiently as I could, "but it doesn't stay charged." "But we don't have any way to verify that." "I'm TELLING you it doesn't work. I was in here Monday and got the phone. I was in here Tuesday to get a new battery because it wouldn't charge. It still won't charge. The phone doesn't work." "Ma'am, the phone works." I looked at him, stunned at his obtuseness. "No, it doesn't. It won't hold a charge." "Ma'am, we can't verify that. You'll have to leave the phone here." "I need my phone. Are you going to give me a loaner phone?" He gave me a look like I'd just told him I he had a rattle snake on his head. "We can't do that, that costs us money!" "Well what do you think it costs me to get the new phone? I just paid a $50.00 deductible!" "But we pay over $200 to replace this phone. You only pay $5.00 a month for insurance." Okay, let's just stop a minute here. I've paid $5.00 a month for insurance on several phones for several years. I also paid full price for those phones when I bought them. And, I pay a deductible when something happens to them because they want me to pay extra money in case I break it even though I pay insurance to pay for a new one. Do the math. "I don't care how much you pay for it. I paid for this phone and it doesn't work. You gave it to me. You said it worked. It doesn't work. Replace this phone with one that works." I pushed the phone and the box it came in towards him. "MA'AM!" he squealed in alarm. "I won't have you pushing things at me!" By now I knew he was nuts. "I'm giving you back your crappy phone that doesn't work. Give me one that works." "Ma'am" he said, still patting his tie back in place, "this phone works." "It doesn't stay charged." "Well, you'll have to leave it so we can verify that." "No, I won't." "Well, just bring it back if it runs out. We'll be here until 7:00 pm." I went back out to the car and called Guy at work. I told him about the manager arguing with me about the phone for a quarter of an hour. Guy asked why he didn't just say, "OK, it won't charge. Just bring it back when the charge runs down." I told him I didn't know. He insisted that the phone worked fine. He was simply wrong and essentially calling me a liar every time he did it. So, I decided to go back into the store with the check book and just turn it in as broken, pay the $50.00 and get another phone. He stopped me. "Just let me pay the deductible and I'll get another phone." Evil glinted in his eye. "No, ma'am, you can only file twice in twelve months." "And you can't replace a phone that doesn't work?" "Ma'am, that phone works." If I heard "Ma'am" one more time I was going to do something unnatural, so I said, "FINE!" and left the store. One hour later, the battery dropped over half it's power. I went back to the store. There was one person in front of me in line. He was waited on. I stood there and saw Phil come in, ignoring me heavily. "Phil!" I said. He walked into the back. By now I was up to my ears with it. While I waited I called Guy again and told him the broken phone had done its thing again and that they should replace it unless Phil accused me of discharging it on purpose somehow. Other customers heard me and looked. The staff heard me and didn't look. Still, Phil was a no-show. After a half hour of everyone stalling as much as they possibly could, one of them, the lady, finally had to wait on me. I went up, sat in the chair and handed her my phone. She opened it and saw it had discharged. I said, "I took it off the charger at 10:30 this morning." (It was now 12:45) She said, "It shouldn't do that." She started working and I said, "I just can't stand someone calling me a liar." She looked up and said, "I can understand that." Then I asked where Phil was. As she got up to go into the office, she said, "Oh, he's on a conference call." Right. "Yeah," I said, "Tell him I think he's a coward.' Which I did for not coming out to apologize for arguing with me and helping me get the phone taken care of. She came back with little Phil right behind her, heaving mad. "Did you call me a coward?" Looking up at him calmly I answered, "You called me a liar." "NO MA'AM! At NO point did I ever call you a LIAR!" "I told you the phone was broken. You kept saying it wasn't. That's calling me a liar." "The phone ISN'T broken." I tried logic one more time. "OK, what does a phone do, make and receive calls, right?" "Yes." "And in order to do that it needs power, right?" Suspicious, he answered, "Yesss..." "So," I continued, "a phone needs to call, make calls and have power to do that, right?" "NO! Power's DIFFERENT!" duh I looked up at him in disbelief. I said, "You're just full of sh*t, aren't you?" He went off like a firecracker. "THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! I DON'T HAVE TO TOLERATE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE IN HERE." He was waving his arms around. "You're OUT of here." "I'm getting my phone." I answered pointedly. The lady at the desk had her head down so far her nose touched the keyboard. He continued. "WE HAVE SECURITY HERE! WE HAVE CAMERAS! YOU'RE NEVER COMING BACK IN HERE!" By now he was looking pretty ridiculous and I got tickled. "Great!" I said with a smile. "I MEAN IT! I'M CALLING ALLTEL SECURITY (didn't know they had that division) AND YOU'LL BE BANNED FROM ALL THE STORES IN TOWN!" "OK." He tried again. "YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK IN AN ALLTEL STORE AGAIN! YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH CUSTOMER SERVICE ONLINE!" "I can do that." "YOU'LL NEVER GET INTO AN ALLTEL STORE ANYWHERE EVER AGAIN!" "Great." I could barely keep from laughing out loud. Banned from every Alltel store everywhere forever. Wow, he's got a lot of power. I looked closely at his eyes and said most sincerely, "So did that word actually do physical damage to your ears? Do they hurt?" He looked at me stunned. "I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU MA'AM. YOU ARE NEVER COMING BACK!" "Do you think I want to talk with you again?." He stomped off to the front door, ready, I'm sure, to heave me to the parking lot if I slowed to pull out my car keys. I got my phone and thanked the poor little woman at the desk. As I went out, I couldn't resist. "I knew that conference call was a bunch of crap." He gave me an evil glare and said cheerily, "Thank you ma'am, have a good day!" I turned and said, "You too, Phil, have a good one!" Now I am a marked woman, banned forever from every Alltel store in the entire world. And so, I'm sending this out to you so that you can distribute the poster to any Alltel store you may have in your community. I mean, really, let's beat the rush. Katie TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://cato9tales.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!566699174AE57DC3!159.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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